Wow, I've been living in DC for over a month now and time has flown by! The excitement of living in a gorgeous, historic and monumental city is amazing.
I walk pass the Library of Congress, the Supreme Court and the Capitol- everyday and that never gets old.
Here's a panorama I took of the Capitol's ceiling
Last Wednesday I was walking by the Supreme Court on my way to work and saw the media at their usual spots waiting for more SCOTUS decisions. With my interest in human rights, it was a last minute decision to stay that day and stand with civil and gay rights activists waiting to hear the Supreme Court's decision on DOMA and Prop 8. I've never been part of a protest or peaceful assembly before, but standing in front of the Court and waiting with countless other activists and strangers that day was amazing. The street was absolutely packed. Tons of people. It was incredibly hot. But when my friends and I were reading the SCOTUS blog updates and realizing what had happened was priceless. I can't describe what it feels like to see people realize their rights were recognized by the federal government. And we were right in the middle of it- standing at the headquarters where true change occurred. Truly inspiring. I'm so thankful to witness a historic and life changing moment for so many people. I'll always remember that moment.
I have also come across challenges during my stay. Regardless of these challenges, there's always something to learn and take away from those situations. I'm compelled to express this experience as I want others to learn to never say this to a person with a disability.
A few weeks ago I was in the elevator with a man and woman who were carrying two bikes. They made general conversation with me, asking about my scooter and whether I can ride a bike. I proceeded to talk about my training and how I used cycling as a vital part to excel in swimming. The woman then asked what my disability was and I said Muscular Dystrophy. I thought the man and woman were extremely friendly and nice until the woman said- "God can cure you only if you let him." Surprised, I told them how I am blessed to have an incredible life, but the couple kept telling me (in the elevator) that God can cure me only if I let him. I understand that the couple meant well and wanted to see me "out of pain," but from a disability perspective, saying that God can cure me only if I let him, only implies to those disabled that we're broken and not fully human. It is very degrading and only enables the disability medical model within society- that every person that is disabled needs to be cured. We are not broken people, but rather full, human beings. If that situation occurs again, I encourage everyone with a disability to simply say that we are perfect in God's eyes...because it's true.
I usually don't write blogs that often, but when I get 20 texts and 5 phone calls from my friends and family in a day, I realized I needed to give an update.
DC has been awesome, I'm already in love with the city. There are so many museums, monuments and places to go here and I hope I have time to do it all! I absolutely love being in a city where there's so much national history. It's an indescribable feeling to stand where advocates once fought for minority rights during the Civil Rights Movement and know that political change started here. I also can't believe I'm living just a few blocks away from the White House...crazy!
I love how my roommate is also a Trinity 2013 grad (shout out to Trinity and Brianna Gross)! There are at least 6 frats and sororities around us, so it's like we never left college. We're both interning through the American Association of People with Disabilities, but working for different agencies. We've had orientation with 28 other interns with disabilities before we embark on our internships this summer. I have absolutely loved getting to know these interns. We've formed a great community and I've learned so much about my friends here who have disabilities such as autism, deafness to navigating DC blind. These interns are awesome.
The only adjustments I've had to make here is learning the metro. Here's some advice that I've learned- don't drive your scooter in the metro car while it's moving because it feels like deep sea fishing. And another thing is to park your chair in the direction of the metro car, that will help also. I'm just a New England girl adjusting to this metro thing! I start interning on the Hill next week. Wish me luck that I get this metro down before I start!
I'm beyond excited to see what this summer will hold and it's just the beginning. Yes, I'll get back to those calls and texts ASAP!
I just handed in my last final paper for my undergrad career.
I keep thinking that one of my professors will email me saying that I never submitted an annotated bibliography, my final papers or that I have to redo my thesis. I'm still on "work" mode, but I think I'll realize that I'm done with college once a diploma is in my hands. :)
Let's look back on senior year (which was awesome) with "did I really."
1) Did I really dress up as a pink cupcake for Halloween?
2) Did I really buy a life size cut-out of President Clinton and carry it with me everywhere on campus?
And put him on the back of my scooter?
And get a photo with President Jones (President of Trinity College)?
(He folds)
Yup, that was pretty awesome.
There are countless experiences I look back on this year and I'm just in awe. Like, going to the Clinton Global Initiative in St. Louis this April for A Day in a Wheelchair. If you have ever lost hope in humanity or for future generations, I'd advise to go to one of these events. I have never felt so inspired and empowered by sitting in room not only with President Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, Jack Dorsey and Stephen Colbert, but with 1,000 other college students who already are addressing current issues in our world. I will never underestimate the power and hope I have for my generation. What an incredible experience.
I never would have thought that my senior thesis would lead me to a new passion and direction for my future. Researching, writing and interviewing others regarding disability rights has lead me to a new path. In conjunction with A Day in a Wheelchair, the message of disability rights as human rights is spreading to college students. I recently spoke at Manchester Community College about our project and I made it clear that our ideas have the potential to change current issues if we believe in them. I never would have thought that one, simple idea I had as a junior in college would turn into a journey involving empowerment and changing social perspectives.
No words can truly describe my college experience, but the song, "I Lived" by OneRepublic comes close. It's bittersweet and exciting at the same time to embark on to the next phase in my life. I've loved my time in college- from professors, the academic and social life to the amazing people I've met along the way.Throughout the joys and disappoints, I've truly embraced every moment.
For more info on what I've been up to check out...
I finally have a chance to catch my breath and want to share, in detail, the night we were accepted into the Clinton Global Initiative University 2013!!!
It started in January when Charley brought up the idea to apply to the CGIU Conference with our disability rights project, A Day in A Wheelchair (ADW). I had no clue what CGIU was about, but the more I researched, the more I realized the grand impact CGIU has had on innovators who are combating global challenges. So, since ADW is promoting disability rights and challenging disability social stigmas through a human rights lens, Charley, Sean and I, with support from professors, decided to just go for it, apply and see what happens.
We were told that accepted applicants will be notified on February 18th.
When February 18th came, we didn't receive an email...
A bit bummed, I thought something was off, I thought it was weird how we didn't hear anything so I called CGIU on Tuesday (Feb. 19) regarding notification. Feeling relieved, I was told that applicants would be notified on the 28th instead of this week. So, for the rest of the day, I completely forgot about our application.
Around 8:30 that night I was in my room, contemplating whether to edit or write more of my thesis. Around 9PM, I'm still debating what to do and decided to go on my phone instead of doing any thesis work (senioritis). I saw I received new emails and started to scroll through. I saw an email from CGIU, but thought it was an advertisement letter or something else.
As soon as I read it, I screamed. OH MY GOD WE GOT IN!!!!! I stormed into my roommate's room on full scooter rabbit mode yelling on the top of my lungs, had her double check I was reading our accepted email correctly and just continued hysterically yelling. I then obviously called my mom, still yelling. I called Charley and Sean about 6 times as I was overjoyed. Sean found out via text and super excited. I finally reached Charley and this was our conversation:
Me: GUESS WHAT?!
Charley: What?
Me: GUESS WHAT!!?
Charley: We got in?
Me: YES!
Charley: We GOT in!?! We GOT IN!? WE GOT IN!!! OH MY GOD WE'RE GOING!!!
Me: YES!!!!!
Charley: I'M CALLING MY PARENTS AND THEN CALLING YOU RIGHT BACK!! OH MY GOD!!!!
So what do you do when you find out you're going to hang out with President Clinton, other prominent leaders and innovators from around the world?
Dance party...in your bathroom.
Yup, as embarrassing as it sounds now, I was so excited that I went into my bathroom, turned on the radio, full volume and danced my heart out to this song, which perfectly fit the situation.
I stayed up for the rest of the night as I obviously couldn't sleep. Every text or Facebook response I wrote entailed caps and countless exclamation points like- AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Still wide awake, at 4AM Sean and I were texting about how excited we were that our project was accepted into CGUI. While we were texting, Charley was snapping photos and made a Facebook album with title: "The Night I Got Into CGIU". We were just so, so excited.
So what's next? Planning logistics from flights to hotels. We are invited to attend the annual CGIU Conference from April 5-7 at Washington University. President Clinton will be moderating the entire event, world leaders will speak about global changes and we will be doing many workshops with other college innovators from around the world. Last year's conference speakers were Jon Stewart, Biz Stone (founder of Twitter), Usher, Madeleine Albright (first women to be U.S. Secretary of State) and Chelsea Clinton. Charley, Sean and I were one group out of 1,000 people worldwide who were accepted to this conference!
Next week we find out our CGIU Mentor! I'm so excited! They're going to provide us guidance about our project and how to make it grow and remain sustainable!
It's still a whirlwind, but things are starting to settle in. Trinity College supports us 100% from Professors, Deans to President Jones and I'm so incredibly grateful.
From spending time with Tibetan, Buddhist nuns, a best friend doing a TED Talk to sharing wheelchairs on campus, senior year has been off to a great start!
Beginning in September, I befriended Tibetan nuns from the Keydong Thuk-Che-Cho-Ling Nunnery in Kathmandu, Nepal. These six Buddhist nuns made Trinity their home and created a sand mandala, used for prayer and compassion. At the time, I was doing an independent study researching the relation between Buddhism and human rights and my professor advised that I visit these nuns on a daily basis. I not only loved and appreciated the tedious aspects in making a mandala, but began to know the nuns and their life stories. Head nun, Ani Tendol, taught me Tibetan prayers of compassion (Om Mani Pandme Hum), even gave me prayer beads (currently dangling in my dorm room), and learned Tibetan phrases. These nuns are amazing, so humble, selfless, and taught me the underlining factors that connect all human beings; suffering, happiness and compassion. More importantly, the Keydong Nuns have been the first females, approved by the Dalai Lama, to make a sand mandala which is traditionally created by monks. When their mandala was finished, the nuns traveled to various colleges and I expected to never see them again on campus. I unexpectedly ran into Ani Tendol outside of my dorm building in late December and she spontaneously wanted to see what an American dorm room looked like. Kind of shocked and unprepared, I volunteered to show her my room, I'm obviously not going to turn down a nun. The most memorable aspect on having Ani Tendol in my room was explaining who Audrey Hepburn was (I have a collage of her on one of my walls) and the picture frame of President Clinton. Ani Tendol and the Keydong Nunnery, whether they realized it or not, the Keydong Nuns greatly changed my perspective on the meaning of humanity, the qualities that unite everyone and how to create change.
Love these nuns!
The other project my friends, advisor and I closely worked together on was Trinity's first Disability Rights Week. This whole project began in August 2012 from coordinating different disability events to researching the best disability experts we could bring to campus. So in December it all came together, starting on December 3rd. That Monday, Professor Stein, the Executive Director of Harvard Law Project on Disability spoke to the Trinity Community about disability rights and the Convention on Rights for Persons with Disabilities. His speech was amazing, honestly one of the smartest people I've met.
That Wednesday, December 5th, was A Dayin a Wheelchair. I had the idea for students to spend a day in a wheelchair actually in 2011. I tried coordinating the event on my own while training and taking classes, needless to say, 2011 was not the year. Not thinking anything else would come of it, I was taken back when my advisor, back in August, wanted to follow through with putting on the event for the fall semester. My job was to make sure the philosophy and mission of the day was clear to students. I wanted participants to realize that disability should not be a fear factor. The purpose of the event was to raise disability rights and equality. And when December 5th came, I literally woke up at 6 AM, super excited like I was 6 on Christmas Day, ready to meet up with my friend Sean to give out our wheelchairs! All together we had 24 students, two staff members, one dean, one chaplain and one professor participate in our event!
Attempting to film in reverse!
Throughout that day, I borrowed a small camera and followed participants around on campus and later interviewed their perspectives and experiences. Since I've been around cameras before, I thought it wouldn't be so hard to film people, but I was SOOO wrong! It's completely different being filmed than actually filming. It definitely takes talent to drive a scooter, forward or reverse, while filming! There were times when I didn't realize the camera was recording, and I somehow flipped the lens to learning how to use a tripod. I basically just dove into something I had no clue about except the on, off and record button. Over our winter break, my friend Will and I worked on putting a video together comprising all the wheelchair footage and AGAIN I don't know anything about Final Cut Pro! I literally ripped out a piece of paper and just wrote different segments I liked, the layout of the video and just let Will work on editing. I have no previous experience in filming or making any video, and I'm so so happy we pulled something good off for the Trinity Community! Nothing would have been accomplished without the help from Sean and Will for putting on this day.
Check out our video!
We can have protests, enact legislation, and create jobs for
people with disabilities, but the human world is a social world. One becomes
inducted into society through social acceptance. I believe one constructive way
to create social acceptance for people with disabilities is for able-bodied
students to spend a day in a wheelchair. As I went around campus filming and
interviewing participants’ changing perspectives on disability, I realized the
value of opening a broader campus conversation. My goal was not to raise
inaccessibility issues, rather for participants to see that they are the same
person regardless of sitting in a chair or walking. Disabilities aside, we all
share the same human dignity, which should be respected and admired. To move forward, society needs to reshape the culture so that people with
disabilities are accepted as fully equal. One powerful way to create this
change is to spend a day in a wheelchair.
That entire day was amazing. I loved how many people participated, the support from Trinity to recording the new perspectives and opinions regarding disability. This whole event happened because people believed in one idea and I am so thankful we did this. Our event is catching on and people have noticed our mission. Going forward, I have a feeling this will not be the last time you'll hear about A Day in a Wheelchair. :)
And I am beaming with pride over my best friend, Scout, on doing a TED Talk last month! She's like a sister to me and I couldn't be happier with the themes and life lessons she discussed here. Check it out!
So that's just a quick recap of senior year part 1. I love where things are going right now and am so excited about 2013!
Last semester senior year begins in ONE WEEK! Let the final countdown to May 19th begin!
I realized my last post was from London Trials, and I don't want to leave my swimming blog on that note. There's obviously life after Trials, after any upset there's a new day and a new beginning comes along.
Instead of writing a post on what I've been up to, what I have or have not accomplished, I have something more valuable to share that I've learned over the last 5 months...
...perseverance.
After Trials I decided to do the San Diego Triathlon with the Challenged Athletes Foundation; something I've done since 2008 and have enjoyed every time I've gone, but this time it was different. Once Trials ended and there were no more competitions, training, media, and cameras I was left with the dilemma of even wanting to be in and/or near a pool. Although I already committed flying out to San Diego, I was having serious doubts and even told my close family and friends on wanting to pull out. I blamed it on school, too many papers and exams I'd miss, and just wanting to be a typical, regular college student, but that was not the true reason; I wasn't 100% sure if I wanted to get back into swimming. One of my best friends explained it to me over the phone- regardless if I finish the distance swim, I'm already going the distance and facing my doubts and struggles straight on, something not many people even consider doing.
Regardless that I did or did not finish the swim, I decided to still go, to move on, to not be overcome by any mental struggle. And to sum it up, I had the most amazing time in San Diego. I appreciated the moments because I remembered the times when I was doubting to go. I not only enjoyed being with other challenged athletes, but realized how amazing it is to be with other great athletes throughout the country at one sporting event. Simply stated, it was the first sporting event since 2007 where I truly enjoyed the art of swimming; to swim just to swim, and enjoyed the people and process. And to add, it was the best and most beautiful open ocean swim I've ever done. The temperature was perfect, beautiful weather, smiling and waving to the sea lions swimming underneath me; it was perfect. That wouldn't have been possible if I didn't face my demons. And I'm so happy I shared those moments with my CAF family. That was the beginning of my new chapter.
(Photo Credit Chris Stone getting out of the swim at the San Diego Triathlon 10/21/12)
So what does it mean to persevere? For the last 5 months post London Trials, I've learned it means to keep going and pursing although you encounter struggles and challenges over an extended period of time. It also means to work through these challenges regardless if the outcome may not be what you previously had intended or expected; to know regardless of these challenges, this too shall pass. Perseverance encompasses the ability to continue living out your path. There have been countless times since June where I've thought, what to do next, where to go, what to do with myself, but I've realized no matter what, you somehow press on. Perseverance makes you realize how strong you are for choosing to face and withstand those demons and challenges. I believe perseverance is a natural instinct within the human spirit. Everyone has it, I'm not special by any means, I've just have had situations that have directed me to persevere. And I believe that's one of the best qualities we have; that we somehow keep going in life.
I would usually conclude a post with what's next for me, but that's not the case anymore. I've decided to live out one of my favorite quotes, "don't tell people your dreams, show them". So for now, my lips are sealed. Thanks for tagging along on my journey :)
What an amazing experience to finally make it and compete at London Trials! Honestly, this time last year I still wasn't sure if I'd be able to compete at this meet due to the nerve injury I had for over a year. I can tell you that Trials was the most intense swim meet I have ever done and I'm so happy I made it that far.
No, I didn't make the London Team this time around, but I'm so happy for my friends who did. I had to be top 10 in the world and I made top 15 for one of my events. I was close, just not close enough for London, but I did an amazing job. Considering I've really been training since last June after being cleared to swim coming from a time when I couldn't write or hold a fork to dropping over a minute in time at this swim meet from November (2011) and dropping my world rankings from being last to 15th and 17th is incredible...in addition to now being 1st in the country...even I'm shocked. I gave it every single ounce I had and I loved every minute of it. Just to think that in 2007 I had no clue what Paralympic swimming was and 5 years later I've made it so far makes me think how much farther I can go in this sport.
I could not have gotten this far on my own. Certainly the support from my family has kept me going and grounded, especially everything I've learned from my mom along this journey. Since 2007, my mom has been there for every step and hurdle, swim meet, and a ton of boring practices in the stands. All the teams, coaches, and teammates I've been with shaped the athlete I am today, especially my high school team for showing me the love of the sport. All the friends I've made on this journey from teammates, classmates, professors at Wheaton, MCC, Trinity, and Northeastern, my former teachers, friends at swim meets, parents, triathletes, Paralympians, thank you for being there for me. I've learned from every encounter how supportive and good people are; I cannot tell you how humbling and encouraging it is when a stranger at the grocery store says, "I believe in you, keep going". A huge shout out goes to my CCAT Team, Keith, Sara, and Kim for being there for me whether it was at 6AM practice or those early swim meets that seemed to take up every weekend! And a big shout out to Corey for teaching me the little things in swimming that make a huge difference when racing. To my trainers and physical therapists along the way, especially the ones this past year for getting me over my injury; I know I would not have made Trials without you. I wouldn't have gotten this far without the help from Cornerstone and everyone who works there! That pool is always open, even during snow stroms, Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, when all pools are usually closed! I love getting to Cornerstone at 7AM and training with other triathletes and Ironman athletes; they motivated me every morning when the water was way too cold! A big thank you goes to the Challenged Athletes Foundation. I have gained so much confidence from the staff and fellow athletes on what it means to just go for it with a positive attitude. I met my closest friends who are now family to me through CAF and I am so grateful. CAF has opened huge doors to amazing opportunities and friendships along the way. I can't wait for the San Diego Tri this October! The Hospital for Special Care and The Tolland Fund have also been so supportive throughout my journey. I love how they encourage our local challenge athletes to get involved in sports. It's pretty amazing seeing childrens' faces light up realizing what they can do with their lives in sports. I'm so incredibly grateful to have such a strong support system throughout the years from swimming at Glenbrooke, talking with Mrs.Kirsche about training in my high school hallways, hanging out with Jeannine at the '04 Olympic Center, to telling my story to President Clinton...I'm so grateful.
Living your dream is the most fulfilling, exhilarating, heartbreaking, and humbling experience. Regardless of your circumstance, I say go for it. You truly do not know how far you can push yourself, and I promise you, you will be shocked on what you can accomplish. I'm truly happy to be on this journey because I'm living with absolutely no regrets and 100% passion. That's what it's all about.
This entire experience has certainly showed me what I could make of myself when truly believing in a dream, fully committed 100% everyday since December of 2007. That's something I could have never learned in a classroom or from a book. Going into Trials I thought, "I could achieve greatly or not get what I want", but I did both. I achieved so much, but just didn't get what I wanted this time around and I'm perfectly okay with that. But this is unfinished business. I finish whatever I start and I'll be the one to determine when my time is up. I'm not done with swimming just yet...
In the meantime, it's time to go away on a remote island off the east coast.
Stay tuned, this isn't the end, just the beginning of a new chapter :)
Wow, I cannot believe my last update was roughly a month ago and SO MUCH has already happened! Trust me, it's worth the read...
I wrote my last update on the verge of leaving my house to go and speak at the first ever CT Disability Film Festival. Can I tell you how amazing that was?! I had the opportunity to give some first hand experience to the audience about training for 2012 after the viewing of Warrior Champions. First off, I absolutely loved the film. I actually watched it twice over that weekend and could not tell you how many times I got the shivers. For those of you who haven't seen it yet it's about the journey of wounded soldiers who set the goal of competing in the 2008 Paralympics. I was extremely heart warmed when watching my friend, Melissa Stockwell's journey (shout out to Melissa) to Beijing in swimming. I can honestly say that I know where these athletes are coming from in regards to training up to trials, not knowing what will happen, but putting absolutely 100% in everyday practices, regardless of the ups and downs. I had a great time answering questions about training for London and giving advice to others about living out your dreams. BIG shout out to Harriet and the Mandell JCC for putting this on and inviting me to share my story, I had an amazing time!
On April 10th I finally broke the 1998 100 Back (25 meter) American Record! If you look at my past October blog I wrote about how I set a goal of breaking it at a home meet during winter season. It was so worth the wait because I went well under the record time. Prior to April I wrote down a bunch of small goals going up to trials and breaking this record was one of them. I'm so grateful for my coaches (shout out to my CCAT Team) who have taken so much time to really understand the impacts of Muscular Dystrophy in regards to training. I know for a fact I would not be where I am today without my team.
So I've been trying to stay away from social media. On Wednesday, April 11th I deactivated my Facebook. I know such a shocker! I was thinking about doing that for a while, to get a clear mind and focus on my training. And how long did my social media vaca last? 9 days...SAD! I'm actually having someone else control my Facebook for the next 3 weeks so if you do need to reach me, please email me at kouragemakesdif@aol.com. Also last night my sister challenged me to going without my IPhone for 24 hours. Little did she know that's been a goal on my 2012 bucklet list and I doubled it to 48 hours because I know I'm not addicted to my phone. So far I have not checked my phone since 7:30pm on April 20th and will not get it back until tomorrow night. I actually feel fine, I'm not having any withdrawals so take that Alison (shout out to my sis) :)
Earlier this week I went to NYC and absolutely loved it! I had the opportunity to spend time with my CAF family and couldn't have asked for a more perfect day (shout out to Barbara and Virginia)! I spent most of the day bonding with my mom as we spent time soaking up NYC (shout out to my amazing mom). We had the opportunity to see the SNL studio (which was so amazing) and learned about their set. It's actually the biggest set inside NBC and looks a lot smaller in person. Ask me what a Wide Angle Microscopic Lens is and how it's used on their set. It's pretty cool I must say. Sadly, that's basically the little knowledge I know about film except the Kuleshov Effect (I'm such a nerd). Anyway, I absolutely loved spending time with my CAF family, so many amazing things on the horizon for them and I am so grateful to be one of the countless athletes they support. I'll be going to their annual San Diego Tri again this October! So excited! If you have not checked them out yet, then you are missing out!http://www.challengedathletes.org/site/c.4nJHJQPqEiKUE/b.6449023/k.BD6D/Home.htm
Classes and my internship are starting to come to an end. On April 20th I was asked to attend a Board of Fellows lunch with other students at Trinity. We had the opportunity to talk with very successful almuni. It's truly inspiring seeing the possibilities after college, although uncertain and worrisome it may seem at times. I met with my advisers in regards to my senior year. I can't believe in less than 3 weeks I'll be a senior it blows my mind. I'm up for writing an honors thesis next year and I've decided to write it on disability rights and sports. It's obviously a topic near and dear to me and I'll most likely be doing research for it over the summer. As far as plans after Trinity I'm seriously considering law and doing some work experience before taking the LSATS. Although I have these plans, they're mostly guidelines as I know so much can happen in a year. Session at the Legislature is starting to come to an end. Everything's over at 12am on May 9th, no more legislation will be passed! It was pretty exciting at the Capitol witnessing the Senate and House debates about abolishing the death penalty. So many Representatives and Senators brought different opinions and arguments to the table, it certainly kept my attention.
And now I've updated you to today. Again, I love my Saturdays! I had morning practice and felt a little stiff in the water, but worked it out. At this time with trials, I'm taking everything day by day and if I can't do that hour by hour; practice by practice, if not lap by lap. I had a great conversation with my coach during practice that helped me become more focused and motivated for June. Regardless of what happens, I've learned so much on this journey that this is not an all or nothing situation anymore. It's an all gain situation. After practice I spent the rest of my day with the Synergy Center as they kicked off their Sensory Celebration with Autism Speaks (shout out to Brian). I had an amazing time getting to know the Synergy Center and painting with Autistic children today! I might have had more fun than the kids because I want to go back to the Florence Griswold Museum just to paint. Anyway, I loved today and seeing the possibilities for the Synergy Center is truly inspiring.
Going forward, this is the nitty driggity I'm getting down to! I have about 3 weeks left of classes and my internship. I'm taking my training day by day and seeing where this journey is taking me. My next swim meet is May 12th at Yale and I cannot wait to kill it! I'm SO looking forward to summer, but I'm appreciating each moment along the way, phoneless or not.
It's Sunday, the last day of spring break and I don't want this to end. Do I really need to go back to campus? I'm having too much fun with my life, who honestly needs school? Kidding of course!
Here's why I've been loving this week...
Last Friday, March 16th, I will remember that day for the rest of my life...I'm not being over dramatic either I promise. I somehow was introduced to President Clinton that night by Governor Malloy. I had no clue this way going to happen to me, just completely starstruck. Everything was a blur, I felt like I was in a movie because everything seemed to line up perfectly that day. Once everything was over that night, I just wanted to stay awake. My life was better than any dream I could have thought of. So, I decided to write all my thoughts down and send off an email to my political science professor of the experience (see below).
Hi Professor,
What a day, I'm still in utter shock!
Meeting with Governor Malloy was great! We didn't talk about politics, rather about disabilities and overcoming challenges. I had a great conversation with him about his disability and how he memorizes his speeches or publicly speaks off the top of his head. He wanted to know everything about me; my life story, my disability, my goals, how I got to Trinity, how Trinity has accommodated me, etc. He gave me some great advice which he learned from his mom; that no matter what challenges society may put on you for being different, the only quality that makes one successful is by helping others. We talked in his office for roughly 45 minutes. His staff were the ones who got me the ticket to hear President Clinton speak tonight so I formally thanked him. As I was leaving, Governor Malloy said if there was anything I needed help with to never hesitate to ask, so I took him up on his offer. I basically said before outright asking him, that if I didn't ask this question, I would always wonder 'what if' and also if I didn't ask him this question, it would be an automatic 'no'. So I said, I know this may be very hard and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but as you're also seeing President Clinton tonight, by any chance may I meet him? Governor Malloy said he'll see what he can do and he gave his assistant my contact information. They told me to show up at the Bushnell for 6 as President Clinton's speech started for 7.
I arrived at 6, had my ticket and saw Governor Malloy as he entered and said how he can't make any promises but he'd see what he could do for me to meet President Clinton. By 6:30 no one had called me so I went to my seat and assumed it was a no. Around 6:40 someone official approached me and said to follow her. We went back stage pass all these lines and there I was with Governor Malloy passing Nancy Wyman in addition to a huge line of people waiting to take a picture with the former President including Senator Blumethal. I walked with Governor Malloy straight up to President Clinton and the Governor formally introduced me to President Clinton as the Trinity student who is training for the Paralympics and a human rights major. As secret service had my camera (we were not allowed to take pictures) there was a professional photographer from the CT Forum taking pictures of us talking and then a picture of the Governor, President Clinton, and I. I still cannot believe this happened to me!! I just told the former President how I'm a human rights major and greatly admire and appreciate all of his humanitarian work and cannot wait to hear his speech tonight. The Governor and I walked away after and I gave him the biggest hug and could not stop thanking him. He said not to worry about getting the pictures as the CT Forum will email him all the pictures he was in and he will then forward me the picture of us. I then met the Governor's wife and was talking to her about the informative conversation I had with her husband earlier that day and she hugged me as I left the backstage. As I left the backstage and went into the lobby a reporter from the Java section of the Hartford Courant came up to me and wanted to know everything about my experience meeting President Clinton! She took my picture, wanted to know how I got to meet the former President, where I go to school, etc. She said this will be online tonight/tomorrow morning. I don't know how this happens to me!!!
President Clinton's speech was great! He talked about his humanitarian efforts and how he envisions government's role in society. He said that the private sector, government, and NGOs should work interdependently as that is the best way people can flourish. He didn't talk much about politics, it was more about bipartisan efforts. In addition, he said how this was an amazing time to be alive. He pointed to Brazil as they work for shared prosperity, responsibility, economically and socially. He said his American dream is to continue its prosperity and for people to have the available resources to achieve their goals, through education, jobs, etc. He also said that the education problem is very complex, but what we need to do is understand one's differences in order to move forward to create solutions; he believes that we should be aware of childrens' home lives in addition to what they do in school. He also stressed that anger fogs reason and logic; President Clinton is truly an optimist.
I'm hand writing Governor Malloy a heartfelt thank you tomorrow. I'm so grateful for everything and I'm still in shock I met President Clinton!
Thank you again for everything,
Kristin
I have this picture saved on my phone, so whenever I start to think something's impossible or not doable (not to sound too corny)...well, this will be a friendly reminder that I'm wrong :)
On Tuesday I went to visit some of my best friends at Northeastern (shout out to Allison and Jen). I absolutely love these girls! They took me around Boston as I've only been to the city for business trips and fell in love with this place (shout out to Ray Allen and my Celtics). I'm seriously considering moving to Boston after graduation, but a lot can happen within the next year and a half.
For the next few days I was back in the water training. I had to take some time off to let my right arm recover, but no worries, back to mermaid mode! I've been doing a lot of freestyle to strengthen different muscles in my upper body as I do so much backstroke all the time. My coaches are still not allowing me to look at my times and are having me base everything off of how I'm feeling in the water and right now I'm feeling really strong. Last night I was looking over my training schedule for April and Trials in June are going to come fast! I decided a while back that I'm going to treat Trials just like any other meet so I can stay relaxed and focused. I'm actually looking forward to this meet as my training program has been going so well this season. I cannot thank my training team enough!
On Friday I filmed my first segment for the Endlesss Abilities Documentary (shout out to Zack, Will, Tripp, and invisible Harvey). I've been talking with the crew since February and I was SO excited and honored to be apart of their project. The crew is made up of 4 guys in their 20s from Rhode Island who decided to film their experience traveling across the country while visiting physically challenged athletes at various levels in different sports. The purpose of the film is to unite able-bodied and physically challenged athletes has we all have the same goals and love sports. You need to check them out ---> http://www.endlessabilities.org/! The film will be out and 2013 and I will certainly let you know how and where you can watch it! Anyway, on Friday we did a basic interview at one of the pools I practice at and so far, that was one of the funnest interviews I've ever done. I'm really happy that people my age are interested in this topic that's so near and dear to me. I can't wait for you to see the film. The crew will be coming back to film me in the water in May and then after Trials.
Saturday I was planning to get ahead on homework, but decided to curl up in a blanket and fall asleep with my dog.
And now it's Sunday, the last day of spring break. I seriously want to have a 6 week extension as it would go perfectly with the beginning of summer. Today will be super busy! In about 5 minutes I'll be off to the pool to see my coach, then immediately head up to Hartford for the first ever CT Disability Film Festival. They'll be showing Warrior Champions (I highly recommend you watching it) and then I'll be speaking on a panel after the showing. Then, I'll be back at Trinity, scramming to do homework and unpacking everything.
Oh! And BIG shout out to my best friend Scout! She told me last night how she qualified for London Para Trials in track for the 100 yesterday!! She's my motivator.
I absolutely loved this week and cannot wait to see how the rest of the semester unfolds. It only goes to show that the best is yet to come :)
So driving back from my meet at Rutgers last night I wrote
everything down about the meet, the variables, what
I had control over, what was good, what I
can improve on. I woke up this morning absolutely so
tired, more fatigued than I have ever felt in a very long time.
Rutgers events- 100 free,50 back, and lastly 100 back. My times
were consistent and slightly faster than my last meet. No best times,
but I've been training really hard. I was 2 seconds off my 100 back
American Record, and for having to improvise my starts as I
forgot my starting device.
What was good- finishes, turns, stroke/pull. My coach I went to
Greece with said this was the best she's ever seen me. I'm the most
water efficient I've ever been. She was really impressed by my
finishes and there was no hesitation with my turns. I was swimming
straight and sprinted into the wall for a finish.
What can improve on- making the last 50 in my 100s faster as I know I
can swim under the times I did this weekend. I'll be improving on keeping
both of my 50s in the 100s consistent.
I can certainly improve on certain techniques in regards to my backstroke.
Variables- The air on the pool deck was colder than the water, I was
shivering the entire time even with 3 towels and a jacket on. The new
Lazer I brought was too loose on me as there were no red marks on my
shoulders and there were major gaps in my upper body. Had to
improvise my backstroke start as the meet was using national
guidelines (which I didn't know) and was not
allowed to use the gutter and didn't know I needed to bring my starting
rope. I improvised by having my coach hold my feet at the wall and start
by laying on my back instead of what I've been practicing. For the 100
free and 50 back I may have had 5 minutes in between those events, if
any. In addition, I was in the car for 3 hours that morning driving
from CT to Rutgers. So many variables that effected my races,
but I managed everything well.
Mentally- The more I relaxed, the faster I was. I was way too intense,
stressed, and put too much pressure on myself as I was concentrating on
what times I wanted which is the absolute worst thing to do. I need to
learn how to let go and know swimming has a place in my life. I
definitely need to stop being so hard on myself. My true goal is to keep
going, improving, and to know that I swim faster when I'm relaxed and
not stressing about things I cannot control.
All in all, I'm still exhausted, but loved the meet! I loved cheering
on our new swimmers yesterday; it was truly refreshing.
Currently, I'm going back to bed, study for my midterms
and train again tomorrow.
I know it's 9am, but good night :)
I’m back for round 2! This spring semester is crazy! I'm amazed that I found time to write another blog entry during the second week back on campus...
So I thought last semester my schedule was busy, but manageable...now, it's just crazy! This semester I have my internship, classes, and training. Everything looked pretty doable on the calendar, but I somehow keep challenging myself on how much I can take on. I do have to say, I am getting use to this new schedule and absolutely love everything I'm doing.
My internship is amazing, I couldn't ask for more. I'm working at the state legislature, interning for our Senate Majority Leader; 18 hour week. Last week I had the opportunity to meet the Lieutenant Governor and make myself feel at home at the capital. It feels kind of surreal that I'm working in the capital, but it's slowly becoming my reality. I'm new to this whole political scene, but I'm getting the hang of things. I love the atmosphere, there's always something going on, meetings to attend, people to meet, and letters to write. I'm looking forward to next Wednesday when session starts and am excited to see what really goes on in my state government.
As for classes, I'm taking requirements for my human rights major. Right now it's just a ton of intro readings for the classes, but things will start to pick up.
My days are pretty filled. Most of the week I'm working until the afternoon at the legislature and make it back to campus just in time for class. It gets a bit tricky with training. On those days I usually have to wake up for 6 to be in the water by 7 to be back on campus for 10:30 for my class at 10:50. The rest of those days I'm in class until 4. Mondays I work all day and usually come back to my room by 6pm. After that I go and lift. I somehow am trying to fit in doing homework and researching issues for this session on top of everything. I told you, it's getting pretty tricky this semester juggling everything, but so far so good!
Training's going well, but I'm still in the process of adjusting a few things to my new schedule. For instance, I had to switch from swimming Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday to Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. I'm also swimming an hour earlier in the morning so I've had to adjust my breakfast routine. In addition, I'm in the process of evaluating when would be the best and most effective days and times to lift after work. I always have to keep in mind physical exhaustion and my limits as that's a main factor for MD athletes to get weaker. I’ll be making up one of my workouts tomorrow as today I didn’t eat enough before practice. That means I'll be swimming after work and classes, but it's doable, I'm a go-getter for things I want! When my body doesn’t have enough energy, I literally want to go to sleep. These are all manageable adjustments which will become my normal routine in no time! I do have to say, being flexible and adjusting to new circumstances is one of the best things I’ve learned over the years.
As for swim meets, I only have one local meet in downstate CT this month and then a disability regional meet at Rutgers next month. Taking care of my body and training to the best of my abilities is really my priority at the moment. London trials are going to be here before you know it and I can honestly say I’m giving my goal every single ounce of effort and energy I possibly have. Although my goal is taking a ton of time, effort, more effort, and challenges, I’m living my dream and I’m holding nothing back.
Round 2 is underway and I'm beyond excited to see what amazing experiences will occur this semester!
I apologize for being a HORRIBLE blogger! I only have free time when I'm on break and it has FINALLY arrived! I usually never do this, but for the past 4-5 hours I've been watching old episodes of The New Girl (I completely recommend watching it!) and just not doing anything. Now it's time to finally give an update!
I'm so glad finals are over! It was way too stressful, it was just bad. There were times when I spent too many hours writing papers, studying, writing more papers, then going back to studying. So happy I finally have a chance to breathe!
So my last blog was in October before I left for the San Diego Triathlon, my favorite weekend in the year. You would think that San Diego would be warm in October, but for some reason it was as cold, if not colder than Connecticut! I packed shorts and summer clothes, but the whole time I was freezing!! Despite the weather, I LOVED seeing my friends from the Challenged Athletes Foundation. My family and I had a great time at the swim clinic on Saturday and Sunday was the big swim. Again, the air was pretty cold, but I thought a mile swim would be doable as I've done longer distances before. I had my swim buddies with me, Felicia and Tony and we just went for it! The water was FREEZING! 60ish degrees! I've never felt my face that cold before. Except for the temperature, everything else was going great; however, we were a half mile in and I was still shivering. It's not good to keep my muscles cold so I decided that I should get out, risking my health just wasn't worth it. I then went to the emergency tent and found out I caught a chase of hypothermia; so glad I decided to get out! I definitely don't regret going out to San Diego as I absolutely love CAF and catching up with my friends Scout Bassett, Ryan Levinson, and others. I hope that next year the water's warmer!
The week after San Diego I had my first swim meet of the season with my CCAT team. We hosted it in a 25 meter pool which is pretty uncommon to do these days, but it was so much fun! Loved cheering on my team and at that time I was 4 seconds away from breaking the 1998 100 Back American Record...so close! I know next time we have a meet there, I'm pretty sure I'll break it!
During the month of November my training was intensified to training 6-7 days a week. I swam 4x, lifted 2-3x and cycled before swim practice. Granted, there were times when I had to let my body rest whether I got sick or I needed to give myself more time to recover. During this training period my AMAZING longtime friend, Scout Bassett, came to Trinity for a few days! Scout spoke to our students about her life story, invited by our WGRAC group, and I'm beyond grateful that she came!! Scout stayed with me in my dorm and we had so much fun during her stay! Is there a such thing of having too much fun, because I think we were pretty close to that! If you don't know Scout, I'd recommend Googling her name and just read the first few articles that come up. Scout is one amazing friend to me, I love her, we have so much in common, I could go on and on about her...she's basically amazing. I'm so blessed to have her as a friend.
I'd say about 2 weeks after Scout's stay I had a swim meet at Harvard. I woke up at 4 am to drive into Cambridge and swim at 7 in the morning; you gotta love it! Can I just say that Harvard's pool is AMAZING...period! So I was first heat first event for the 50 free and what happens to me? My goggles filled up with water as soon as I dove in...oh of course that would happen right?! No worries though, I immediately threw them off and swam without seeing where I was going! I do have to say, regardless of the slowish time, it was pretty entertaining. 100 back was next and with the new adjusted stroke (oh, my coach changed my stroke a week before) I dropped roughly 30 seconds! Who does that?! From my first meet of the season (3:40) I went down to a 3:11...crazy! So needless to say I left Harvard feeling pretty happy and had to buy myself a Harvard swimming sweatshirt of course!
Between this time and the end of the semester, I was training and really concentrating on my grades. Those were the only two things I needed to concentrate on with no distractions whatsoever. I seriously cannot get over all the work professors give us during finals, but that's another story. The end of the semester left me feeling BEYOND exhausted!
So last Saturday was my most recent swim meet. I was registered for the 200 Back and 150 IM. The week prior, I was going under the American Record times for both events during practice, so I was definitely looking forward to swimming at Wesleyan. So I decided to wear my Lazer and swim fast enough to make these new records official. Wow, I was not expecting to go that fast! To make the 200 Back American Record I needed to get under an 8:32, during practice I was going 6:30s, and that day I went a 5:57! And on top of that, I broke the 2006 100 Back American Record (2:53) by going out for my first 100 in a 2:52! Then, to break the 150 IM I needed to get under a 6:57 and I did a 5:31! The 150 IM was a personal best regardless of having an injury and I couldn't be happier with those swims! The 100 and 200 back were 5-10 seconds off my best times before my injury, so I was on cloud 9! I loved having my teammates there and some of my friends from high school cheer me on (shout out to Laura and Jackie)! That was an absolutely amazing day for me and I'm looking forward to experiencing more like moments.
What still shocks me is that I'm doing half the work I use to do when I use to get those times. The only thing I can conclude is I'm more water efficient than ever, training smarter, listening to my body and knowing it's okay to stop, and I'm surrounded by the best coaches and trainers who know my body. I'm finally getting all the right things together and there's no better time to have that. I couldn't be happier with where things are going...I really couldn't.
At the moment, I only have 2 weeks off of school and then January I'm taking a winter class to graduate on time. On top of that I'll still be training and going to swim meets. My second semester looks busier than ever. I'll be interning for CT's Senate Majority Leader (18 hour work week), taking classes, and training. It's going to be so busy, but I'm ready for it, I love keeping busy and am really looking forward to my internship!
My friend, Laura, gave me a congratulations card for my swims and on the cover it said, "Success comes to those who never stop dreaming". Now, without getting too corny, it is pretty true. No matter what challenges I've faced, I've always kept dreaming, kept pursuing my passion, and kept going. Whenever I want to quit, I always picture my 7 year-old self dressed as an Olympic swimmer for Halloween telling me to keep pushing forward. And I couldn't be happier where things are going for me. I'm so glad to end 2011 this way and ring in 2012 with more positivity than ever before. I'm living out my childhood dream and becoming the person I always dreamed of...how could that not bring a smile to my face?
I've been meaning to write another entry as I realized my last one was in July and I finally have some free time.
So what have I been up to lately? Just training and college life. It sounds like a pretty simple schedule, but trust me I'm occupied, but I like it that way.
Finally I'm getting things right my junior year. Unlike last year due to my late transfer, I'm finally living on campus and absolutely loving it. I lucked out with an amazing roomie :) and I finally have a class schedule I like and professors who make the class material interesting. My favorite class so far is about immigrants and refugees. Part of our requirement is to spend time with an immigrant or refugee once a week. I've been tutoring a refugee from Africa in Anatomy and I'm learning more than I could ever imagine if I was just reading a book. Other than my classes, I'm in the process of starting a Toastmaster's Public Speaking Club, coordinating an event on campus for International Disability Day, and hosting my good friend, Scout Bassett, to speak at Trinity next month. In addition to that I'm in the process of applying for some internships at the UN and the state legislature. And when I have free time on Wednesdays I'll be helping out my high school swim team with stroke technique. Yup, I'm busy...
As for training, it's going amazingly well. I'm doing all of my training off campus; swim practice and weights in the morning before my classes. My routine usually consists of training at a local pool during the week with my coach's workouts and then traveling down state to practice with my team on weekends. I then do weight training with my trainer/therapist 1-2x a week. I'm concentrating on improving my upper body now so most of my land exercises are more specific to that area. As I had to start from the ground up after my injury, I can now say I'm roughly 2-5 seconds away from my old times. This is great news as I'm training differently than I was prior to my injury as I'm not using certain muscles and relying more on my upper body in order to be water efficient. Although I still have so much work to tackle in order to have a legitimate shot for trials next June, at least I know I'm on the right track with training and I'm certainly optimistic.
Words cannot describe how excited I am for the San Diego Triathlon next weekend sponsored by the Challenged Athletes Foundation! That is going to be one busy weekend as I leave next Friday, the triathlon's Sunday, and then arrive back at school Monday night...and I have a 10 page paper due too. I'm planning to do all my work on the flight as it's about 6 hours. For the tri, I'm just doing the swim portion, it's a mile in the Pacific, and the water's suppose to be low 60s/high 50s. I've swam in mid 60s before, so I don't think there'll be that much of a difference. I'm looking forward to spending time with my friends who will be competing that weekend. I love the positive energy at this triathlon with the amazing people and stories heard about trials and triumphs. It's honestly my favorite weekend out of the entire year.
So this is the second time I'm sitting down to finish this entry. Last week I somehow got distracted so I'm determined to finish this tonight!
I'm loving summer and there's one week left of July!
So where to begin?
In June I went to a gala for the Challenged Athletes Foundation as they're one of my sponsors. It was held at the Waldorf Astoria in NYC. The event was to raise money for sports grants or equipment for challenged athletes and to thank our supporters. I had an idea of what to expect, but that night was better than anything I could have imagined! There were some amazing stories from athletes about their challenges and successes. CAF does a great job of showing athletes, supporters, and others that anything is possible and there's no reason to give up. I loved seeing my other athlete/friends dressed up instead of dressed for a swim meet or triathlon. The event ended with a performance by Macy Gray which was amazing, she has such a great voice! Us athletes went on stage for her last performance and danced to her last song. :) I left that night feeling inspired and grateful to have CAF support countless athletes across the world and all together we raised $1.4 million! Above is a picture of myself and my friend, Paratriathlete World Champion, Melissa Stockwell at the gala.
This past week I had a national meet up in Quebec. It was only to get looked at by the paralympic classifiers due to my previous nerve injury. As the paralympics are divided into different classes based on function, I knew I should be looked at again so I can compete against people with similar mobility as me. I really had no clue what to expect as the process consists of a long muscle test followed by some swimming, but I went in with an open mind. The meet started on Friday and I was classified on Thursday. Late afternoon that day (Thursday) the classifiers decided to drop me to a lower mobility class...I was relieved that the stressful process was over. That was bittersweet; bitter in the sense of knowing you're slightly weaker, but sweet that you're competing against others with similar mobility. So the next morning I had the 100 free prelims and dropped roughly 15 seconds since last month! I was beyond happy and then the classifiers came over to my coach and I and asked if I could get muscle tested again for my right arm. Again I started to become stressed. They wanted to figure out why on land I can't lift my arm, but for my backstroke I can lift it straight out of the water. Even I don't know how it's possible, but since they came up with the same results again the classifiers officially left me in my new class. At least I know the classifiers are very thorough and really make sure that each athlete competes fairly.
Saturday I swam the 50 free and breastroke. I'm not a breastroker so I wasn't looking forward to that event, but I dropped 9 seconds since the last time I swam it at a big meet! I was certainly shocked and to top it off I dropped another 10 seconds on my 50 free since last month! That's just unheard of! Sunday I swam 50 back and dropped 14 seconds since last month...again! That was crazy! I brought home 3 golds out of 4 events too. And best of all during that whole meet, I had absolutely NO nerve pain!
So overall I dropped over 30 seconds since June and am 30 seconds under world ranking cuts! I'm now only 10 seconds away from my old times before my injury and have to drop an additional 5 to make the London cuts! I can do this, I can really do this, especially with my new training schedule and great team I have. I feel really hopeful about making the London cuts with the way I've been dropping time, but I'm taking each day at a time. I've realized that swimming is not my whole life, a passion and keeping my muscles in shape, but not the end all. Regardless with what happens at trials next year, I'm going to keep on swimming.:)
Other than swimming and training, I'll be working at Hospital for Special Care's Ivan Lendl Adaptive Sports Camp in a few weeks. My job is to be a counselor, but to also improve on how the camp can be more accommodating to children with Muscular Dystrophy and neurological disorders. Most people don't know that someone with MD can fatigue very quickly out in the heat or that taking multiple rests is very beneficial while being active. I'm excited to work with the kids and ultimately see what I can do to bring more kids with MD out of the house and on the court, deck, or track.
I saw Rihanna a couple days ago and she was amazing! Sounds exactly like she does on the radio without lip singing. I love her hair and want her hair cut, but without the red lol ;)
I'm happy to say that I've been very busy from increasing my training, going to appointments, to spending time with friends!
Over the past 2 weeks, I've had the opportunity to meet people who have touched and changed my perspective. Leaving a physical therapy appointment, I had a father come up to my mom and I as we were getting into the car. As his son was following him, I saw that this young boy was wearing the same spring shoes as me. The father introduced himself, his son, and then said, "If I didn't read about you in the Hartford Courant back in 2008, my son with Duchenes would not be walking and in great health right now". He went on to say how his son swims, is gluten free, and goes to physical therapy. That shocked me. I've never had someone else with Muscular Dystrophy follow all the things I've done before and also see the benefits. I know there's a lot of other things that play into this picture, like family support, and I could tell this young boy certain gets that. This boy was 9 years old with Duchenes and he was still walking...amazing, and the father saying that it was all because they read about me? That's very profound and I'm honored to not just inspire, but empower others. That was the most humbling and rewarding feeling I've ever had, better than receiving any award or medal.
I started training and swimming only to pursue a paralympic goal that I'm still working towards. I'd never expected to be improving lives along the way, but meeting that young boy gives me more motivation to keep going forward and showing what is possible.
This past Tuesday I had the opportunity to attend Hospital for Special Care's Annual Donor Reception. The reception mostly talked about how programs have improved and thanking donor's support throughout the year. One person who attended was Dr. Petit, founder of the Petit Foundation. For those who don't know Dr. Petit, him and his family were victims of a horrific home invasion and only Dr. Petit survived. Even though he experienced this tragedy, Dr. Petit is still active in community service and giving back to others. I had the pleasure of meeting him that night. I was deeply touched on how peaceful and humble he was. I told him how much I admire his courage for freely giving himself in helping others, especially to the hospital. I also mentioned how much I looked up to him and his strength. The only thing he kept saying was thank you and continued to shake my hand. I will forever remember our conversation. That night I took away a new sense of giving to others, thanks to Dr. Petit.
Overall, I feel very honored to meet amazing people along my journey. I don't want to get too sentimental, but at times I feel speechless as to how touched I am their stories. I'm not exactly sure as to why I'm coming across these experiences (not that I want to know why), but what I do know is that nothing is a coincidence.
I just finished with my final semester as a sophomore last Thursday and never looked back! I was so stressed on Thursday that I made myself do nothing on Friday...literally nothing and forced myself to feel bored. I've been programmed to go to class, study, go back home, eat, study, run in the water that just doing nothing felt really weird. At first it was fine, I thought it was fun channel surfing, but I like to be busy so I broke my "rule" of not doing anything and went out.
Last Monday my physical therapist cleared me to start swimming again! After about a month of not doing the things I wanted, I truly felt overjoyed! I do have to say, I was very impressed with myself for running in the water for about a month and not tempted at all to start swimming when no one was looking! The same day I finished my last exam was also my first practice back with my team. Although I was in for about 20 minutes it felt exhilarating and I had no pain! I loved seeing my coaches and teammates too. I'm only swimming a 100 (4 laps) with rest in between each lap, but the plan is to not overdo anything and slowly build back up so I can be training normally by mid/late June. I have a feeling everything is going to work this time.
Also last Monday I had the privilege of speaking at the Hospital for Special Care Ivan Lendl Golf Classic. The event was a fundraiser for the hospital's challenged athlete program which I have been apart of since July 2007. I did feel a bit nervous and stressed as I came from a study session, but I loved meeting our supporters and sponsors. I soon felt fine as I met legendary tennis player, Ivan Lendl, and the family who founded the hospital's disability sports camp. I was told to prepare a speech for roughly 5 minutes and spoke about the benefits of the hospital's athletic program. I mentioned my coach, Joan, and how I remember calling her, asking if I would be able to be on her swim team. I honestly never realized the impact that moment had on me until I reflected for speech material. I just remember feeling so nervous when first talking to her and not knowing if I'd ever be good enough to swim. It's quite rewarding to look back on that experience and see that she's been there for all my national meets and traveled to the Greek Open with me. That's how much the Hospital for Special Care cares about their local athletes, no matter their talents or goals, it's just about getting out there and having fun. That's why at the banquet while standing in front of the podium I was humbled to be with the countless sponsors who keep this athletic program running. And for that I'm deeply grateful. After I finished my speech I soon saw that I was given a standing ovation. I felt honored to be there that night.
As for now, I'm just happy to be back in the water and rebuilding my stamina. I'm taking time out to relax and spend time with friends I haven't seen in a while. I'm SO excited for my cousin's wedding in June! I just bought a dress for that today! I'll be taking a public speaking class which starts in late June and will be going to a swim meet in Canada in July. Those are most of my plans for the summer, but they can always change. Whatever happens, what I know for certain is that summer's finally here!
In March, I was cleared to swim 3x a week instead of 2 woo!! So my first meet was at Seniors in the beginning of March and wasn't expecting anything dramatic to happen, but I dropped 20 seconds in all 3 events I swum compared to my last meet in November! It was a great weekend because I had no expectations or times I wanted to get and I was with my coaches and teammates...oh...it was my birthday too :)
So taking another step in the right direction, I started to train an extra day. Instead of being a minute off of my times in November/December I got around to being 5 seconds off in practice. The last time I was able to get those times was in July so needless to say I was happy. I had a really big meet coming up in the beginning of April in Minnesota for spring nationals. I knew that this was a selection meet for 2 international teams, but I knew it would be a long shot of me making one with the condition of my arm; however, anything could happen so I didn't cross that situation out of my mind. I also knew that I was doing a lot better (now in the middle of March) and keeping really positive about things, but in the back of my mind I had expectations of doing very well and racing like I wasn't injured; like everything I've gone through in the past 9 months would magically go away. See, I wanted to block out of my mind that I was injured in hopes that I would swim even better than I did at Seniors. I wanted my hard work to show. Obviously trying to make something disappear or ignoring a situation will not make anything better.
I felt really good on the flight to MN. My cousin, Nicolle, came on the trip, so she helped get my mind off of thinking about races. Everything was going well when we landed and got in, but the next day I woke up with tremendous pain in my neck shooting down into my arm. I wasn't in tip-top shape when I left as the day before I was lying on the couch in pain, icing it, and taking medication. I did think to myself why I should be going to this meet if I'm not feeling great and I realized that I wanted motivation to get better; that my goal was to be motivated to get out of this "funk". So, when I got up that first morning in MN, I iced and stretched and had some fun the rest of the day.
The meet started on Thursday with prelims and finals. I registered for 3 events, 50 free and back on Friday and 100 free on Saturday. Prelims were first in the morning 50 back was first; I was pumped and in a good mood. I thought I swam really fast and I felt good in the water; however, my time was 20 seconds off. It took me by surprise, but tried not to analyze my race on thinking what went wrong. I still was pretty bumbed, but tried to forget about it to swim the 50 free. Again, 20 seconds off. Wow, I guess it just wasn't my morning. I was in a pretty low mood, but Nicolle really cheered me up and also some of my friends on deck. I knew this was going on because of my injury...so I went back to the hotel, slept, iced, ate, and went back for finals. I felt a bit better and it showed as I dropped 6 seconds for the 50 free.
The next morning I swam the 100 and just took it easy. I didn't want to make my arm to feel any worse than it already did. I was in pain. I was already icing and taking ibuprofen. The only thing I could do was have fun and stick it out until I got home to see my physical therapist. I had a goal that morning to swim under a time I did in 2008 and I went a second under, so I did what I went out to accomplish. That afternoon things had gotten a bit worse. I still was in pain since the morning and my arm was going numb; it obviously felt fatigued. So I slept and iced again.
That night I didn't warm up for finals. I didn't want to aggravate my arm anymore. I sat next to a table and elevated my arm on my towels, but it still was throbbing. How am I going to swim when I feel like this? Then, I started to think I could just swim with 1 arm, it's just a 100 right? Swimming with 1 arm would take me about 6 minutes though...what's the point? Then, I finally snapped out of it, what was I thinking, why would I put myself through that for a race? It's just 1 race, just 1 swim meet and this is my health, there's no comparison.
So, a heat before I was about to race I scratched. I've never scratched out before as I've always been the one to push myself past my limits. At first I was pretty upset and wanted to take my swim bag and leave, but I passed by some friends I hadn't seen in a while and started to catch up with them. I started to enjoy myself and actually wanted to stay and see the other races. While watching other heats of the 100s I realized how proud I was for realizing the fine line between pushing myself and growing to pushing myself and hurting.
Yah, I didn't have the best meet, but it is what it is...and it's just one meet. I did my best at that time, no matter how corny that sounds. I grew as an athlete and I didn't give up on myself. I had my friends and family around me and I did have fun.
When I got back and saw my therapist he said my injury flared up on the flight due to the seats. At least I know the cause now and fortunately I'm not flying anytime soon.
It's now May and I haven't swam since that meet. I've been rehabbing more, cross training, and to stay in shape using a running belt in the water. Things are definitely improving. I can do more things now with no pain. Hopefully I'll be cleared to swim next week, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
I titled this entry as "making a door through a brick wall" because of the challenges I've faced with a nerve injury for the past 9 months. Another challenge comes along like a flare up which makes it a bit harder for me to get where I want to go; however, I see my progress. I see the tiny things I wasn't able to do which I can slowly start doing. Those are the little things making my door, in addition to being positive and seeing that just by doing the things I love, I'm not giving up. Swimming is teaching me more about life lessons than about the sport. I know I will look back on these situations and realize that on my weakest day, days, or months, no matter what happens, I'm still getting stronger.
I've had a few revelations since January. With the unknown nerve problems going on with my right arm worsening, I realized that as much as I wanted to swim, it was ultimately damaging me. In the beginning of that month I went to my neurologist, got some MRIs, and was told to take a month of rehab meaning swimming 2x a week for 30 minutes and then going to an exercise physical therapist. If my arm function did not improve within a month then my neurologist was going to say that my body was going through a progression. I knew it wasn't a progression because I was having so much pain and the lack of function in my tricep dramatically declined within 2-3 weeks. I was happy though that I was allowed to swim and to finally get back into the water, but more hopeful that my arm would improve.
Over this time of rehab there were moments of feeling really good, then being anxious of not knowing what to do with myself. I couldn't do much in the beginning, if not anything at all with my right arm and had to chill out and watch movies if my arm was in pain; I couldn't even hold a book to read or study for my classes, that's what drove me crazy. My physical therapy started to improve in early February and I started to become more positive about myself and where my body was at. I realized that I had the ability to be calm and in the moment with my free time instead of how I use to be when training; running from place to place and mentally stressing over things in the future. In addition, I realized that the way I think is directly related to how my body feels. For instance, I know I'm feeling really good if I'm thinking positively without trying whereas if my body's tired and needs rest I mentally will be harder on myself. I later told this to my trainer and she thought it was great that I learned this at an early age.
In mid February I was starting to feel really good in the water and was given the okay to swim 3x a week for 45 minutes. During that time I had some long conversations with my coaches and trainer about the way my body with Muscular Dystrophy responds to training. This came about since I was improving more by swimming and training less while giving my body more rest. We realized that once my arm gets better, the most I'll ever train is 4x a week for 1:30 instead of 5-6x for 2 hours because I'll be able to recover and ultimately become a faster swimmer. By doing this, I've been able to accomplish more by doing less and I've also taken on this mantra onto other things outside of swimming, such as how I motivate myself and what I'm setting as goals. I've realized that if I can do a simple thing, whatever it is, great then I will be able to do more with more energy and a positive attitude instead of stressing myself out and worrying about what I can and can't control.
I ultimately feel like this was the major lesson I had to learn while going through this time of injury and honestly I'm very grateful for it. I'm a happier person now and realized that the best way I can accomplish something is to have a healthy balance in all aspects of my life, not just doing a swim workout and making sure that I'm in my best physical shape. There's always something good out of a challenging situation and I'm glad that life can throw me these bumbs in the road so I can become a stronger person.
Oh! And this past week I went to the neurologist since it's been a month of rehab and my arm's stronger! I still have a way to go, but I've been getting some of my old times! I've been feeling really good in the water and decided to go to my next national meet in April so I've very excited and hopeful to say the least!
