Perseverance

I realized my last post was from London Trials, and I don't want to leave my swimming blog on that note. There's obviously life after Trials, after any upset there's a new day and a new beginning comes along.

Instead of writing a post on what I've been up to, what I have or have not accomplished, I have something more valuable to share that I've learned over the last 5 months...


...perseverance.


After Trials I decided to do the San Diego Triathlon with the Challenged Athletes Foundation; something I've done since 2008 and have enjoyed every time I've gone, but this time it was different. Once Trials ended and there were no more competitions, training, media, and cameras I was left with the dilemma of even wanting to be in and/or near a pool. Although I already committed flying out to San Diego, I was having serious doubts and even told my close family and friends on wanting to pull out. I blamed it on school, too many papers and exams I'd miss, and just wanting to be a typical, regular college student, but that was not the true reason; I wasn't 100% sure if I wanted to get back into swimming. One of my best friends explained it to me over the phone- regardless if I finish the distance swim, I'm already going the distance and facing my doubts and struggles straight on, something not many people even consider doing.

Regardless that I did or did not finish the swim, I decided to still go, to move on, to not be overcome by any mental struggle. And to sum it up, I had the most amazing time in San Diego. I appreciated the moments because I remembered the times when I was doubting to go. I not only enjoyed being with other challenged athletes, but realized how amazing it is to be with other great athletes throughout the country at one sporting event. Simply stated, it was the first sporting event since 2007 where I truly enjoyed the art of swimming; to swim just to swim, and enjoyed the people and process. And to add, it was the best and most beautiful open ocean swim I've ever done. The temperature was perfect, beautiful weather, smiling and waving to the sea lions swimming underneath me; it was perfect. That wouldn't have been possible if I didn't face my demons. And I'm so happy I shared those moments with my CAF family. That was the beginning of my new chapter.

(Photo Credit Chris Stone getting out of the swim at the San Diego Triathlon 10/21/12)


So what does it mean to persevere? For the last 5 months post London Trials, I've learned it means to keep going and pursing although you encounter struggles and challenges over an extended period of time. It also means to work through these challenges regardless if the outcome may not be what you previously had intended or expected; to know regardless of these challenges, this too shall pass. Perseverance encompasses the ability to continue living out your path. There have been countless times since June where I've thought, what to do next, where to go, what to do with myself, but I've realized no matter what, you somehow press on. Perseverance makes you realize how strong you are for choosing to face and withstand those demons and challenges. I believe perseverance is a natural instinct within the human spirit. Everyone has it, I'm not special by any means, I've just have had situations that have directed me to persevere. And I believe that's one of the best qualities we have; that we somehow keep going in life.



I would usually conclude a post with what's next for me, but that's not the case anymore. I've decided to live out one of my favorite quotes, "don't tell people your dreams, show them". So for now, my lips are sealed. Thanks for tagging along on my journey :)

London Trials :)

What an amazing experience to finally make it and compete at London Trials! Honestly, this time last year I still wasn't sure if I'd be able to compete at this meet due to the nerve injury I had for over a year. I can tell you that Trials was the most intense swim meet I have ever done and I'm so happy I made it that far.


No, I didn't make the London Team this time around, but I'm so happy for my friends who did. I had to be top 10 in the world and I made top 15 for one of my events. I was close, just not close enough for London, but I did an amazing job. Considering I've really been training since last June after being cleared to swim coming from a time when I couldn't write or hold a fork to dropping over a minute in time at this swim meet from November (2011) and dropping my world rankings from being last to 15th and 17th is incredible...in addition to now being 1st in the country...even I'm shocked. I gave it every single ounce I had and I loved every minute of it. Just to think that in 2007 I had no clue what Paralympic swimming was and 5 years later I've made it so far makes me think how much farther I can go in this sport.



I could not have gotten this far on my own. Certainly the support from my family has kept me going and grounded, especially everything I've learned from my mom along this journey. Since 2007, my mom has been there for every step and hurdle, swim meet, and a ton of boring practices in the stands. All the teams, coaches, and teammates I've been with shaped the athlete I am today, especially my high school team for showing me the love of the sport. All the friends I've made on this journey from teammates, classmates, professors at Wheaton, MCC, Trinity, and Northeastern, my former teachers, friends at swim meets, parents, triathletes, Paralympians, thank you for being there for me. I've learned from every encounter how supportive and good people are; I cannot tell you how humbling and encouraging it is when a stranger at the grocery store says, "I believe in you, keep going". A huge shout out goes to my CCAT Team, Keith, Sara, and Kim for being there for me whether it was at 6AM practice or those early swim meets that seemed to take up every weekend! And a big shout out to Corey for teaching me the little things in swimming that make a huge difference when racing. To my trainers and physical therapists along the way, especially the ones this past year for getting me over my injury; I know I would not have made Trials without you. I wouldn't have gotten this far without the help from Cornerstone and everyone who works there! That pool is always open, even during snow stroms, Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, when all pools are usually closed! I love getting to Cornerstone at 7AM and training with other triathletes and Ironman athletes; they motivated me every morning when the water was way too cold! A big thank you goes to the Challenged Athletes Foundation. I have gained so much confidence from the staff and fellow athletes on what it means to just go for it with a positive attitude. I met my closest friends who are now family to me through CAF and I am so grateful. CAF has opened huge doors to amazing opportunities and friendships along the way. I can't wait for the San Diego Tri this October! The Hospital for Special Care and The Tolland Fund have also been so supportive throughout my journey. I love how they encourage our local challenge athletes to get involved in sports. It's pretty amazing seeing childrens' faces light up realizing what they can do with their lives in sports. I'm so incredibly grateful to have such a strong support system throughout the years from swimming at Glenbrooke, talking with Mrs.Kirsche about training in my high school hallways, hanging out with Jeannine at the '04 Olympic Center, to telling my story to President Clinton...I'm so grateful.



Living your dream is the most fulfilling, exhilarating, heartbreaking, and humbling experience. Regardless of your circumstance, I say go for it. You truly do not know how far you can push yourself, and I promise you, you will be shocked on what you can accomplish. I'm truly happy to be on this journey because I'm living with absolutely no regrets and 100% passion. That's what it's all about.



This entire experience has certainly showed me what I could make of myself when truly believing in a dream, fully committed 100% everyday since December of 2007. That's something I could have never learned in a classroom or from a book. Going into Trials I thought, "I could achieve greatly or not get what I want", but I did both. I achieved so much, but just didn't get what I wanted this time around and I'm perfectly okay with that. But this is unfinished business. I finish whatever I start and I'll be the one to determine when my time is up. I'm not done with swimming just yet...

In the meantime, it's time to go away on a remote island off the east coast.

Stay tuned, this isn't the end, just the beginning of a new chapter :)

Day By Day

Wow, I cannot believe my last update was roughly a month ago and SO MUCH has already happened! Trust me, it's worth the read...

I wrote my last update on the verge of leaving my house to go and speak at the first ever CT Disability Film Festival. Can I tell you how amazing that was?! I had the opportunity to give some first hand experience to the audience about training for 2012 after the viewing of Warrior Champions. First off, I absolutely loved the film. I actually watched it twice over that weekend and could not tell you how many times I got the shivers. For those of you who haven't seen it yet it's about the journey of wounded soldiers who set the goal of competing in the 2008 Paralympics. I was extremely heart warmed when watching my friend, Melissa Stockwell's journey (shout out to Melissa) to Beijing in swimming. I can honestly say that I know where these athletes are coming from in regards to training up to trials, not knowing what will happen, but putting absolutely 100% in everyday practices, regardless of the ups and downs. I had a great time answering questions about training for London and giving advice to others about living out your dreams. BIG shout out to Harriet and the Mandell JCC for putting this on and inviting me to share my story, I had an amazing time!


On April 10th I finally broke the 1998 100 Back (25 meter) American Record! If you look at my past October blog I wrote about how I set a goal of breaking it at a home meet during winter season. It was so worth the wait because I went well under the record time. Prior to April I wrote down a bunch of small goals going up to trials and breaking this record was one of them. I'm so grateful for my coaches (shout out to my CCAT Team) who have taken so much time to really understand the impacts of Muscular Dystrophy in regards to training. I know for a fact I would not be where I am today without my team.


So I've been trying to stay away from social media. On Wednesday, April 11th I deactivated my Facebook. I know such a shocker! I was thinking about doing that for a while, to get a clear mind and focus on my training. And how long did my social media vaca last? 9 days...SAD! I'm actually having someone else control my Facebook for the next 3 weeks so if you do need to reach me, please email me at kouragemakesdif@aol.com. Also last night my sister challenged me to going without my IPhone for 24 hours. Little did she know that's been a goal on my 2012 bucklet list and I doubled it to 48 hours because I know I'm not addicted to my phone. So far I have not checked my phone since 7:30pm on April 20th and will not get it back until tomorrow night. I actually feel fine, I'm not having any withdrawals so take that Alison (shout out to my sis) :)


Earlier this week I went to NYC and absolutely loved it! I had the opportunity to spend time with my CAF family and couldn't have asked for a more perfect day (shout out to Barbara and Virginia)! I spent most of the day bonding with my mom as we spent time soaking up NYC (shout out to my amazing mom). We had the opportunity to see the SNL studio (which was so amazing) and learned about their set. It's actually the biggest set inside NBC and looks a lot smaller in person. Ask me what a Wide Angle Microscopic Lens is and how it's used on their set. It's pretty cool I must say. Sadly, that's basically the little knowledge I know about film except the Kuleshov Effect (I'm such a nerd). Anyway, I absolutely loved spending time with my CAF family, so many amazing things on the horizon for them and I am so grateful to be one of the countless athletes they support.  I'll be going to their annual San Diego Tri again this October! So excited! If you have not checked them out yet, then you are missing out!http://www.challengedathletes.org/site/c.4nJHJQPqEiKUE/b.6449023/k.BD6D/Home.htm


Classes and my internship are starting to come to an end. On April 20th I was asked to attend a Board of Fellows lunch with other students at Trinity. We had the opportunity to talk with very successful almuni. It's truly inspiring seeing the possibilities after college, although uncertain and worrisome it may seem at times. I met with my advisers in regards to my senior year. I can't believe in less than 3 weeks I'll be a senior it blows my mind. I'm up for writing an honors thesis next year and I've decided to write it on disability rights and sports. It's obviously a topic near and dear to me and I'll most likely be doing research for it over the summer. As far as plans after Trinity I'm seriously considering law and doing some work experience before taking the LSATS. Although I have these plans, they're mostly guidelines as I know so much can happen in a year. Session at the Legislature is starting to come to an end. Everything's over at 12am on May 9th, no more legislation will be passed! It was pretty exciting at the Capitol witnessing the Senate and House debates about abolishing the death penalty. So many Representatives and Senators brought different opinions and arguments to the table, it certainly kept my attention.


And now I've updated you to today. Again, I love my Saturdays! I had morning practice and felt a little stiff in the water, but worked it out. At this time with trials, I'm taking everything day by day and if I can't do that hour by hour; practice by practice, if not lap by lap. I had a great conversation with my coach during practice that helped me become more focused and motivated for June. Regardless of what happens, I've learned so much on this journey that this is not an all or nothing situation anymore. It's an all gain situation. After practice I spent the rest of my day with the Synergy Center as they kicked off their Sensory Celebration with Autism Speaks (shout out to Brian). I had an amazing time getting to know the Synergy Center and painting with Autistic children today! I might have had more fun than the kids because I want to go back to the Florence Griswold Museum just to paint. Anyway, I loved today and seeing the possibilities for the Synergy Center is truly inspiring.



Going forward, this is the nitty driggity I'm getting down to! I have about 3 weeks left of classes and my internship. I'm taking my training day by day and seeing where this journey is taking me. My next swim meet is May 12th at Yale and I cannot wait to kill it! I'm SO looking forward to summer, but I'm appreciating each moment along the way, phoneless or not.

:)

One Amazing Break

It's Sunday, the last day of spring break and I don't want this to end. Do I really need to go back to campus? I'm having too much fun with my life, who honestly needs school? Kidding of course!

Here's why I've been loving this week...

Last Friday, March 16th, I will remember that day for the rest of my life...I'm not being over dramatic either I promise. I somehow was introduced to President Clinton that night by Governor Malloy. I had no clue this way going to happen to me, just completely starstruck. Everything was a blur, I felt like I was in a movie because everything seemed to line up perfectly that day. Once everything was over that night, I just wanted to stay awake. My life was better than any dream I could have thought of. So, I decided to write all my thoughts down and send off an email to my political science professor of the experience (see below).

Hi Professor,

What a day, I'm still in utter shock!

Meeting with Governor Malloy was great! We didn't talk about politics, rather about disabilities and overcoming challenges. I had a great conversation with him about his disability and how he memorizes his speeches or publicly speaks off the top of his head. He wanted to know everything about me; my life story, my disability, my goals, how I got to Trinity, how Trinity has accommodated me, etc. He gave me some great advice which he learned from his mom; that no matter what challenges society may put on you for being different, the only quality that makes one successful is by helping others. We talked in his office for roughly 45 minutes. His staff were the ones who got me the ticket to hear President Clinton speak tonight so I formally thanked him. As I was leaving, Governor Malloy said if there was anything I needed help with to never hesitate to ask, so I took him up on his offer. I basically said before outright asking him, that if I didn't ask this question, I would always wonder 'what if' and also if I didn't ask him this question, it would be an automatic 'no'. So I said, I know this may be very hard and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but as you're also seeing President Clinton tonight, by any chance may I meet him? Governor Malloy said he'll see what he can do and he gave his assistant my contact information. They told me to show up at the Bushnell for 6 as President Clinton's speech started for 7.

I arrived at 6, had my ticket and saw Governor Malloy as he entered and said how he can't make any promises but he'd see what he could do for me to meet President Clinton. By 6:30 no one had called me so I went to my seat and assumed it was a no. Around 6:40 someone official approached me and said to follow her. We went back stage pass all these lines and there I was with Governor Malloy passing Nancy Wyman in addition to a huge line of people waiting to take a picture with the former President including Senator Blumethal. I walked with Governor Malloy straight up to President Clinton and the Governor formally introduced me to President Clinton as the Trinity student who is training for the Paralympics and a human rights major. As secret service had my camera (we were not allowed to take pictures) there was a professional photographer from the CT Forum taking pictures of us talking and then a picture of the Governor, President Clinton, and I. I still cannot believe this happened to me!! I just told the former President how I'm a human rights major and greatly admire and appreciate all of his humanitarian work and cannot wait to hear his speech tonight. The Governor and I walked away after and I gave him the biggest hug and could not stop thanking him. He said not to worry about getting the pictures as the CT Forum will email him all the pictures he was in and he will then forward me the picture of us. I then met the Governor's wife and was talking to her about the informative conversation I had with her husband earlier that day and she hugged me as I left the backstage. As I left the backstage and went into the lobby a reporter from the Java section of the Hartford Courant came up to me and wanted to know everything about my experience meeting President Clinton! She took my picture, wanted to know how I got to meet the former President, where I go to school, etc. She said this will be online tonight/tomorrow morning. I don't know how this happens to me!!!


President Clinton's speech was great! He talked about his humanitarian efforts and how he envisions government's role in society. He said that the private sector, government, and NGOs should work interdependently as that is the best way people can flourish. He didn't talk much about politics, it was more about bipartisan efforts. In addition, he said how this was an amazing time to be alive. He pointed to Brazil as they work for shared prosperity, responsibility, economically and socially. He said his American dream is to continue its prosperity and for people to have the available resources to achieve their goals, through education, jobs, etc. He also said that the education problem is very complex, but what we need to do is understand one's differences in order to move forward to create solutions; he believes that we should be aware of childrens' home lives in addition to what they do in school. He also stressed that anger fogs reason and logic; President Clinton is truly an optimist.

I'm hand writing Governor Malloy a heartfelt thank you tomorrow. I'm so grateful for everything and I'm still in shock I met President Clinton!

Thank you again for everything,
Kristin

I have this picture saved on my phone, so whenever I start to think something's impossible or not doable (not to sound too corny)...well, this will be a friendly reminder that I'm wrong :)


On Tuesday I went to visit some of my best friends at Northeastern (shout out to Allison and Jen). I absolutely love these girls! They took me around Boston as I've only been to the city for business trips and fell in love with this place (shout out to Ray Allen and my Celtics). I'm seriously considering moving to Boston after graduation, but a lot can happen within the next year and a half.

For the next few days I was back in the water training. I had to take some time off to let my right arm recover, but no worries, back to mermaid mode! I've been doing a lot of freestyle to strengthen different muscles in my upper body as I do so much backstroke all the time. My coaches are still not allowing me to look at my times and are having me base everything off of how I'm feeling in the water and right now I'm feeling really strong. Last night I was looking over my training schedule for April and Trials in June are going to come fast! I decided a while back that I'm going to treat Trials just like any other meet so I can stay relaxed and focused. I'm actually looking forward to this meet as my training program has been going so well this season. I cannot thank my training team enough!

On Friday I filmed my first segment for the Endlesss Abilities Documentary (shout out to Zack, Will, Tripp, and invisible Harvey). I've been talking with the crew since February and I was SO excited and honored to be apart of their project. The crew is made up of 4 guys in their 20s from Rhode Island who decided to film their experience traveling across the country while visiting physically challenged athletes at various levels in different sports. The purpose of the film is to unite able-bodied and physically challenged athletes has we all have the same goals and love sports. You need to check them out ---> http://www.endlessabilities.org/! The film will be out and 2013 and I will certainly let you know how and where you can watch it! Anyway, on Friday we did a basic interview at one of the pools I practice at and so far, that was one of the funnest interviews I've ever done. I'm really happy that people my age are interested in this topic that's so near and dear to me.  I can't wait for you to see the film. The crew will be coming back to film me in the water in May and then after Trials.


Saturday I was planning to get ahead on homework, but decided to curl up in a blanket and fall asleep with my dog.


And now it's Sunday, the last day of spring break. I seriously want to have a 6 week extension as it would go perfectly with the beginning of summer. Today will be super busy! In about 5 minutes I'll be off to the pool to see my coach, then immediately head up to Hartford for the first ever CT Disability Film Festival. They'll be showing Warrior Champions (I highly recommend you watching it) and then I'll be speaking on a panel after the showing. Then, I'll be back at Trinity, scramming to do homework and unpacking everything.


Oh! And BIG shout out to my best friend Scout! She told me last night how she qualified for London Para Trials in track for the 100 yesterday!! She's my motivator.

I absolutely loved this week and cannot wait to see how the rest of the semester unfolds. It only goes to show that the best is yet to come :)

Details, Details

So driving back from my meet at Rutgers last night I wrote 
everything down about the meet, the variables, what
 I had control over, what was good, what I 
can improve on. I woke up this morning absolutely so
 tired, more fatigued than I have ever felt in a very long time.

Rutgers events- 100 free,50 back, and lastly 100 back. My times 
were consistent  and slightly faster than my last meet. No best times,
 but I've been training really hard. I was 2 seconds off my 100 back 
American Record, and for having to improvise my starts as I 
forgot my starting device. 

What was good- finishes, turns, stroke/pull. My coach I went to 
Greece with said this was the best she's ever seen me. I'm the most 
water efficient I've ever been. She was really impressed by my
 finishes and there was no hesitation with my turns. I was swimming
 straight and sprinted into the wall for a finish.

What can improve on- making the last 50 in my 100s faster as I know I 
can swim under the times I did this weekend. I'll be improving on keeping
 both of my 50s in the 100s consistent.
 I can certainly improve on certain techniques in regards to my backstroke. 

Variables- The air on the pool deck was colder than the water, I was 
shivering the entire time even with 3 towels and a jacket on. The new 
Lazer I brought was too loose on me as there were no red marks on my
 shoulders and there were major gaps in my upper body. Had to 
improvise my backstroke start as the meet was using national 
guidelines (which I didn't know) and was not 
allowed to use the gutter and didn't know I needed to bring my starting 
rope. I improvised by having my coach hold my feet at the wall and start
 by laying on my back instead of what I've been practicing. For the 100 
free and 50 back I may have had 5 minutes in between those events, if 
any. In addition, I was in the car for 3 hours that morning driving 
from CT to Rutgers. So many variables that effected my races,
 but I managed everything well. 

Mentally- The more I relaxed, the faster I was. I was way too intense, 
stressed, and put too much pressure on myself as I was concentrating on 
what times I wanted which is the absolute worst thing to do. I need to 
learn how to let go and know swimming has a place in my life. I 
definitely need to stop being so hard on myself. My true goal is to keep 
going, improving, and to know that I swim faster when I'm relaxed and 
not stressing about things I cannot control.

All in all, I'm still exhausted, but loved the meet! I loved cheering
 on our new swimmers yesterday; it was truly refreshing. 
Currently, I'm going back to bed, study for my midterms 
and train again tomorrow.
 I know it's 9am, but good night :)

Back For Round 2!

I’m back for round 2! This spring semester is crazy! I'm amazed that I found time to write another blog entry during the second week back on campus...


So I thought last semester my schedule was busy, but manageable...now, it's just crazy! This semester I have my internship, classes, and training. Everything looked pretty doable on the calendar, but I somehow keep challenging myself on how much I can take on. I do have to say, I am getting use to this new schedule and absolutely love everything I'm doing.  


My internship is amazing, I couldn't ask for more. I'm working at the state legislature, interning for our Senate Majority Leader; 18 hour week. Last week I had the opportunity to meet the Lieutenant Governor and make myself feel at home at the capital. It feels kind of surreal that I'm working in the capital, but it's slowly becoming my reality. I'm new to this whole political scene, but I'm getting the hang of things. I love the atmosphere, there's always something going on, meetings to attend, people to meet, and letters to write. I'm looking forward to next Wednesday when session starts and am excited to see what really goes on in my state government. 


As for classes, I'm taking requirements for my human rights major. Right now it's just a ton of intro readings for the classes, but things will start to pick up. 


My days are pretty filled. Most of the week I'm working until the afternoon at the legislature and make it back to campus just in time for class. It gets a bit tricky with training. On those days I usually have to wake up for 6 to be in the water by 7 to be back on campus for 10:30 for my class at 10:50. The rest of those days I'm in class until 4. Mondays I work all day and usually come back to my room by 6pm. After that I go and lift. I somehow am trying to fit in doing homework and researching issues for this session on top of everything. I told you, it's getting pretty tricky this semester juggling everything, but so far so good!


Training's going well, but I'm still in the process of adjusting a few things to my new schedule. For instance, I had to switch from swimming Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday to Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. I'm also swimming an hour earlier in the morning so I've had to adjust my breakfast routine. In addition, I'm in the process of evaluating when would be the best and most effective days and times to lift after work. I always have to keep in mind physical exhaustion and my limits as that's a main factor for MD athletes to get weaker. I’ll be making up one of my workouts tomorrow as today I didn’t eat enough before practice. That means I'll be swimming after work and classes, but it's doable, I'm a go-getter for things I want! When my body doesn’t have enough energy, I literally want to go to sleep. These are all manageable adjustments which will become my normal routine in no time! I do have to say, being flexible and adjusting to new circumstances is one of the best things I’ve learned over the years.  


As for swim meets, I only have one local meet in downstate CT this month and then a disability regional meet at Rutgers next month. Taking care of my body and training to the best of my abilities is really my priority at the moment. London trials are going to be here before you know it and I can honestly say I’m giving my goal every single ounce of effort and energy I possibly have. Although my goal is taking a ton of time, effort, more effort, and challenges, I’m living my dream and I’m holding nothing back.


Round 2 is underway and I'm beyond excited to see what amazing experiences will occur this semester!


Stay tuned :)